Live Mindfully: Find Peace and Comfort at Home

When it comes to today’s child-rearing techniques, children are often viewed as products to be refined and groomed for success. Lately, we have seen a burst of articles about ‘over-parenting,’ ‘helicopter parenting,’ ‘fear-based parenting’ – but no matter how you phrase it, the root problem is the same. Parents are feeling isolated, confused, and insecure about their ability to create a satisfying home life, so they send their children out into the world to “get ahead.” The result? A million extracurricular activities, private sessions with tutors, and a playroom stocked with enrichment DVDs.  Rather than forcing intellectual and creative development by putting your child on warp speed, try the opposite approach: make your home a “slow home.” Here are six ways to try it out:

1. Create mindful spaces
We can feel the difference in spaces that have been worked with and considered in contrast to spaces that are thrown together. Take the time to think about each room, how it is used, and how you can make it more cosy and harmonious. Sometimes the colour of the room needs to be refreshed and changed or the furniture rearranged to provide opportunities for communicating with each other. For example: Arrange a couple of chairs together in the living room to encourage talking and visiting. Placing a comfortable chair in the corner with a lamp and a stack of books encourages quiet contemplation.

2. Go handmade
Intuitively, we know that something handmade is more valuable than something machine-made and often we pay extra for that added value. So, instead of buying something, make it – whether it is drawing a birthday card, knitting a simple scarf or baking cookies. It doesn’t have to be hard and the benefits are great, including fostering a sense of confidence and a feeling of self-reliance in yourself and in your children. You’re children will start to enjoy taking the time to add a personal touch to the things they make for the loved ones in their lives.

3. Nurture the senses
Every room in the home offers a sensual experience. Pay attention to all of the senses while you are making your home – light beeswax candles for their lovely honey smell, different textiles like wool, cotton and silk to bring texture to the bedroom. Vary the colours in the rooms for a pleasing, calming visual effect.

4. Forgive yourself
Being a parent is hard. Our limitations and challenges are continuously exposed by our children. Forgive yourself! Parenting is a journey, not a result. Even in our moments of failure, children recognize and benefit from our struggles. So stop feeling guilty, and try laughter when things don’t go as planned.

5. Reach out to others
Modern parenting often takes place alone with children, behind locked doors, in isolated suburbs. Many of us do not live near our extended families or in some sort of involved and loving community. We have to make the effort to reach out to others and to find a community of support within which to raise our families. Create and nurture a community of like-minded friends by inviting them into your home for potlucks and play dates. Invite the other mothers in the neighbourhood over for Wednesday night dinner and games for all the children. You can also host a cookie party.

6. Establish rhythm and routine
We are all familiar with the chaotic mornings of trying to get everybody to school, the difficult bedtimes when everyone is tired and cranky but won’t go to bed. Try developing routines to support healthy family life.  To get the most out of the time you have with your kids, try making lunches in the evenings before bed to free up your time in the mornings. Setting the table for breakfast can also be done the night before. Also, try arranging bedrooms to encourage tranquility. Incorporate soft yellows and pinks or gentle blues and greens. Get rid of clutter to create a restful mood.

Most importantly, let go of the desire to control, release expectation, and learn to forgive yourself.  With each surrendering, you’ll find more laughter and joy in their place! www.shannonhoneybloom.com